DEAR JUSTIN BIEBER, IT’S NOT THAT HARD

31 Jan

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The next time you’re tempted to throw eggs at a neighbor, or drag race drunk, or assault a limo driver– just don’t. Need I remind you that you are, in fact, a diminutive Canadian boy made famous only by some mentorship free trial Usher performed before knowing working on “The Voice” would later be an option. The most gangster tattoo you could come up with for your forearm was an OWL.The Lamborghini you were drag racing in was RENTED. And after earning over 100,000 signatures, the White House is now formally addressing the nation’s request that you be deported to Canada. And to think, all you had to do to avoid this outcome was star in a Proactiv ad and keep the drug use to your Mom’s basement.

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