27 Jun


THATLOOKSUGLY without discussion of this spawn would be like WWII without discussion of Hitler. So, let’s get to it.

North West was created when the two most narcissistic people alive had an evening of sloppy love making, and then realized triumphantly that a baby was the one publicity stunt they hadn’t pulled. And what a good long stunt it was– 9 months of watching Kim grow into the size of a Cadillac DeVille and eat and wear whatever she pleased. Somehow, we found room in our hearts to care even more than usual about this woman we’ve deemed a celebrity. Of course everything about her is insufferable, and she has no actual talent. A combination of sex tape + dead Dad + new Dad with a new face + dolla dolla bills + Ryan Seacrest’s brilliant producing skills have turned her into the formidable black hole of culture she is today. I’d like to tell you I don’t watch Keeping Up With The Kardashians or Kourtney and Kim Take Miami, but that would be a lie. If television is a highway, the Kardashians are that flaming crash my eyes are powerless to avoid. At least Kanye is a talented person (?), albeit a vile one. So obviously when these people have a child together, our moral compasses get like crazy jacked up. We like babies… but this baby? Is it the antichrist? Meanwhile, the moral compasses of Kim and Kanye apparently point… North. They actually have said the name declares the baby as the best, highest pointing entity of their relationship. But it just reminds me of  a now defunct airline, or perhaps that region in Washington where Bella Swan lives. Well, to this child I say GODSPEED, and may you be raised almost entirely by an elaborate team of nannies.


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