I WISH TOM CRUISE WOULD FADE INTO ‘OBLIVION’

15 Apr

THEN:
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NOW:

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In the 90s, Tom Cruise was something. The kind of something that motivated my friend, at age 8, to have a Tom Cruise themed birthday slumber party. By the end of ‘Top Gun’, I had my first celebrity crush. Now more than 25 years after that movie was made, Tom still views himself in the exact same light, “action hero, mega star”. While the rest of us now see him as “scientologist, has-been”.

His self-indulgent new movie is called ‘Oblivion’. He’s the last human left on earth or some shit. Morgan Freeman is there. But I’ve already had to endure the preview countless times, and I know enough of hate to steer clear. You can find me hanging with Maverick and Goose on Netflix.

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