7 Apr

urlBrooke Burke Charvet: I have to begin with this drippy, insufferable woman from ‘Dancing With The Stars’. I think I watched approximately 3 of her post-dance interviews, and then decided to fast forward through them forever. Just look at her claw-like microphone hold. Or her over accessorizing. Or her face. Something is seriously awry in the cheek department, and for that I’ll never understand why ABC thought she was a glamorous enough person for this job. If you don’t agree with me yet, just google Brooke Burke and you’ll see that 80% of the image results are her posing in Playboy and shit. And finally her decision to slap “Charvet” onto the end of her name when she got married. If every famous woman did that when they got married life would be cray. Moving on…

Access Hollywood Live

Billy Bush: Billy is the host of ‘Access Hollywood’, and is actually a confusing person. If you saw him on a small TV, with the sound turned off, you might think HEY LITTLE DAPPER MAN. But a good look and the addition of audio proves him to be a PEST. He’s a poor man’s Ryan Seacrest and an insult to gingham.


Jay Leno: And of course THIS swarmy bastard who’s disgraced the late night hour for far too long. I mean is it too much to ask that when I finish watching something on NBC, I be able to leave my TV unattended for a few minutes without fear that Jay and his gargantuan chin will infiltrate my apartment? To think there are people out there who prefer this man to the endlessly charming Jimmy Fallon. I’LL NEVER UNDERSTAND


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