‘SPLASH’ IS A REAL TV SHOW AND FOR THAT I WANT TO DROWN

25 Mar

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This is a REAL SHOW people on ABC as in NATIONAL television as in CASH MONEY as in our culture is in the shitter for sure. What ‘Splash’ entails is these supposed stars learning how to dive. Obviously the paramount issue is that this is an awful concept for a show. Its not awakening a lost art in a charming fashion, like ‘Dancing With The Stars’.  Its making this mostly awkward set of people fall gracelessly into a basin of water. I mean I don’t even know who the F these ‘celebrities’ are. I recognize Chelsea Handler’s little Mexican assistant (his casting is cruel, wow see you in hell ABC), the always attention starved Kendra Wilkinson, and some tall basketball player with an interesting name who I’m sure I should know. Oh and Miss Alabama, although I’m not about to call her a celebrity. All that chick did was look hot at a football game and get some tweets about it. Maybe if you guys tweet about how fab I am, I can be on CBS’s soon-to-be-announced “POW” where celebrities are blasted out of a circus cannon. Anyways my opposition to this show is as simple and chemical as hydrogen and oxygen forming the water these losers smack into. If this show lasts more than 3 weeks I’m boycotting television… or just reevaluating the merit of ‘Kourtney and Kim Take Miami’.

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