For the full version of this post, please just Google “Grammy awards red carpet”. On the least refined red carpet of the year, everyone looked ugly. And/or was only in attendance having made some sort of rap collaboration record, which made me hate them instantly. So I’ve decided to dedicate the entirety of this post to the two ugliest things I saw, Katy Perry’s left and right boobs.
Two grapefruits. Or cantaloupes. Or (in conjunction with that vile color) two peas nuked with human growth hormone. Two silicone punching bags. Two flotation devices, desperately trying to float in the sea of relevance. Grab hold, John Mayer. Its the only shot you’ve got.