5 Oct

Both candidates faced off last night in a hotly anticipated debate. And the real point of influence from the evening, or at least what intellectual types like me care about the most, is who had the better hair. Yes one of these men is going to re-imagine our healthcare system and address our national deficit yada yada yada. But which one would you rather look at for the next 4 years? Whose appearance will be least distracting? Because if there is any mockable trait going on, let me tell you that I am going to focus on THAT rather than the politics being discussed. So with that in mind, I sought out to watch last night’s debates with serious concentration, but ended up making these presidential hair assessments…

Wait, didn’t he win last time because we wanted a young, hip prez? Dude’s aged a LOT in these 4 years. If I were him I would have started mixing a little Just for Men into my shampoo starting day one in the White House. This must be how people feel when they marry their spouse, and then post wedding that person packs on the LBs. Like alright…. Yeah… but this isn’t really what I signed up for…


Mitt on the other hand has always looked like this. But I’ve always sort of wished he hadn’t. Do men actually get just a grazing of silver on the sideburns… or does someone hand paint that in everyday? And I’m exhausted just thinking about the gel regime this style involves.

Vote how you will, but just know that when it comes to hair, neither is forgiven. Which means I’m guaranteed another 4 years of mocking!


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