ABSURDLY ‘HIGH-FASHION’ FASHION ADS

19 Sep

I like to think I have a pretty high threshold for creativity. But when I journey to the most wildly chic crevice of my soul, the part that compelled me to buy metallic green mascara yesterday, I still cannot find validity in so many fashion ads.  What these labels want us to believe is that they have a vision grander than any of us ordinary folks can grasp…what they are creating is, after all, ‘high-fashion’. But I believe that to be BULL. I think what these people are creating is glossed up nonsense. And however epic the clothes themselves may be, when they are shown to me in this insultingly ridiculous manner, I instantly hate them. So here’s my new rule: if a fashion magazine has cool ads I keep it under my bed for 3 years like an episode of ‘Hoarders’, if it has ‘high fashion’ ads I blog about that shit, right here:

Are we supposed to pity this girl? She has that crocodile clutch pressed to her cheek like some kind of biblical offering. Why don’t we start with unbuttoning the top button of your blouse like every other person alive. And PHEW I am GLAD that there is a red guitar-pick-esque blob in the middle of this ad.

Aww, she’s cute. Maybe if I buy a Marc Jacobs handbag, her and I can share needles later.

That little blonde just slayed a yeti!!! If that’s not reason to drop 2 grand on a handbag, I don’t know what is.

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