BACHELORETTE TITLE GRAPHICS PREDICTABLY NAUSEA INDUCING

15 May

And so begins another season of The Bachelorette, and with it the introduction of the most God-awful title graphics on television. Past sequences have included Jake the pilot’s airplane themed montage, Ben the winemaker’s sweeping vineyard fields. But nothing can compare to this season for single mom Emily, where we find her chillin with her daughter in some Photoshop purgatory. Do you ever fool around with Photoshop effects just to see how it pans out? Maybe a hue/saturation layer, maybe nuke the contrast levels, maybe apply a Posterize effect. But ultimately you command Z ten times because everything looks shitty. This designer didn’t have that reflex. This designer thought nope– I have done it. I have struck that perfect chord and erected a design that is both tasteful and relevant. And now all season we’ll be forced to cringe under the orange glow while we listen to Chris Harrison ask “do you know someone who’d like to be on the next season of the Bachelor or Bachelorette?”. The only thing worse than the title graphics? At least 20 out of the 25 men look like guys you’d desperately ask your girlfriend to ‘save’ you from at a bar. And the only back up Emily has is her freaky little orange child.

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